Are you someone that has broken up with someone and people keep telling you that it is better to go out and find something new or it is better to see that things end for a reason so that something new can start? The truth is, once you break up with someone, you need to take time to get to know who you are again before you even consider dating again.
Just like now, in the middle of a world pandemic, dating after breaking up with someone might seem like a challenge. You might feel that you are going to have a hard time meeting someone and that might make you feel like you need to get a rebound relationship fast.
A rebound relationship is a relationship that you have where you don’t do it to find long term love, but you do it so that you can feel better about your breakup.
Rebounding after a breakup is when you might go on dates with people here and there and you might fall in love with someone before you have even had a chance to heal from your breakup. When a relationship ends, it is not always the best to run out and start dating someone new. Doing this has risks and can actually be harmful for you.
Why Can Rebound Relationships Go Wrong?
Rebounding isn’t the harmful part, but it is the negative decisions that people make. When people are rebounding after a breakup, chances are that they just want to feel good. This is normally people that don’t make split decisions and when you do, you are just not giving yourself enough time to find out what you have lost from your past relationship.
Rebound relationships often end in more heartache and when you find that you just left a relationship, you might be in a lot of pain in your heart. The past relationship took a lot of care and attention and you more than likely have emotions that are left over from that relationship such as grief or shame.
When you don’t give yourself time to process your feelings, you are not allowing your emotional health to heal, and this can be unfair for the person that you are rebounding with.
There is nothing wrong with distracting yourself so that you can feel better after a breakup, but you should make sure that if you choose to hook up with someone that you have gotten all of your past emotions out of the way first.
Knowing You’re Rebounding
Once a breakup happens and the relationship ends, you might find that you have fallen for someone new and fast. You might see that this relationship is new and exciting, and it can be hard to know if you are actually on the rebound or if you have found your soulmate.
You can know if you are rebounding by who you are. If you are someone that doesn’t jump from relationship to relationship, but you find yourself starting a new one right away, you might need to pull it back a little. You need to take time to find out if you are in the right place to start a new relationship right now.
Look for red flags such as fighting or abusive behaviors or other harmful situations that you can get into when you rebound. Find out how you feel about your ex now and see if you have any anger or hurt left over from the breakup. If you are feeling positive, then it can be time to move on to something new.
Ending a Rebound Relationship
If you are in a rebound relationship that is not unhealthy, you don’t have to breakup with the new person, but you do need to make sure that you are being responsible in your dating. Find out if you are doing things with good intentions and how you feel about your past and future with this new person. If you are always focusing on your ex and feeling jealous, then you need to look at your situation and take a step back to find out what you are really doing.
Talk to people that you trust and take time to journal your feelings so that you can look deeper into your new situation.
If you find that you are still stuck in your past, take time in the new relationship and do not be so rushy to keep going in it.
Talk to your new partner about your feelings and be honest about your past relationship and your breakup. Mention that you want to get to know them better. If you don’t want to give much detail about your past relationship, don’t, you don’t have to if you don’t want to, but it can show that you might not be emotionally available to the new person. You need to explain your situation so that you can have a healthy relationship with the new person.
Rebounding is not a terrible thing, but you need to make sure that you are doing it and not bringing someone in your life that you are not going to respect. Make sure that you are being thoughtful and honest with them. Show your partner that you value them and that you are not just being with them to get over your past relationship. Make sure that you are making good decisions about what you are going to do in your life after your breakup.